...

This world is not a place for him,
Not for one as small as he

The Twenty-third

These weighted glances strike at my core,
Resounding out to angst ridden fingers,
Reaching to make contact, but grasping at air
They fly up, away, and down again
Coming to rest on furrowed brows hat remind me of my absence in your thoughts
I close my eyes, and wrap myself within the sinews and knots of my own heart,
Fashioning a cocoon that I can only hope will someday be

Untangled

http://saraholeksyk.com/loneliness.html

I'm getting over THAT
I'm connecting
Spinning a web that binds me to those who want it
And this time, I'm not caught
I've never been more free

Today

I closed my eyes
We were supposed to visualize what we had done that day, and reflect on it
But I saw
Mackenzie, Savannah, Saskia
Saskia, Mackenzie, Savannah
Savannah, Saskia, Mackenzie
I saw teal and purple sweaters
Bright yellow sunglasses
Old converse
Long hair
Eating candy in the sun
I saw you all laughing
And sitting on a table
Jones
Izzy
I saw extreme bean
Aviators
Skinny jeans
I saw happiness
And yes, my highs now are higher than they've ever been.
My lows, less frequent
But frightening nevertheless.
But the three of you will always be my anchor
In reality
In the present
In nostalgia, but not obsession

In happy

Happy? Ha.

I fall to the floor
In a Technicolor swirl
Much more dramatic than
The truth
The slow crumble

The hollows within echo
Screaming, resounding
"Away, away, away"
Scaring off the few that stayed

I'm left alone to sulk
Wrapping myself up
In brightly colored scraps
Look at them
No deeper

They won't fade
But I will
Until all that’s left
Is a fluorescent tombstone
No recognition or name
Just an afterglow

Kicking

I've never felt so much like a child.
Kicking, screaming
Reckless and careless
I make more mistakes then ever
Neglect things I shouldn't
I think just as much
But with a fresh perspective
So while it may seem like I'm slipping,
I've never been
HAPPIER

Do it

Laugh at me
Call me boring
Call me weird
Ignore me
Stare
I'll drown you out with music
and
I'll be happy

11:13

Now I lay me down to sleep
I pray the lord that I might keep
An ounce of sanity til I wake
Until the morning dawn does break

I can't

I don't write on here

Or in my journal

I don't read your journals

And I don't write letters about the truth

Because I'm afraid of what I'll find

Thrice

The three of you make me smile